I have been in a writing-free vortex.
This has been weeks of learning, growing, praying and deep breathing. But writing is soothing. And refreshing.
I have some passions I want to share. It will take time to get it all out. Clearly that is.
If I were to have a live snapshot of who I was five years ago and who I am now it is VERY different. My personality hasn't changed much. I still babble when nervous, love meeting new people and don't have an issue with being alone or surrounded. I still love the same music, Muse plays on my iPhone whenever the moment strikes. I have maintained an obsessive love of jeans. And hoop earrings. I have grown in patience though the meekness I long for has eluded me. I have a strong, sound faith, adore my Children and love The Hubby. I have grown in size, shrunk in size, and grown again. I pick reading a book over exercise every time. Now I read while exercising. I also can inhale a cheeseburger like it's water.
I was unhealthy. My energy levels were low. I wouldn't eat anything nourishing for weeks and I lost 25lbs on Weight Watchers by eating vanilla frosted donuts in place of meals. I didn't sleep well, suffered from bad headaches and constantly had stomach pains. I was a mess.
I've written about my first discovery of Genetically Modified Food. Stumbling upon it in a book called The Perfect Weight. It was just a side note but it triggered something in my brain. If this was a part of what I was eating every, single, day-how did I not know about it. I was sitting on my wooden recliner on a sunny day in the front yard at the time. The Prince was a busy rugrat climbing in and out of a small kiddie pool watering my somewhat browning lawn. The next day I went to the library sans Kiddos and skimmed every corner that came up as food information. I carried home my plastic covered books and read in every spare moment of the day. When the Munchkins slept, naptime and nighttime. I read when they were out on playdates with Noe and Popops. I read when The Prince watched cartoons and The Princess sat in her bouncer happily cooing. Four years ago the internet was not putting information about this stuff on their social media sites. It wasn't in the newspapers I subscribed to and Whole Foods didn't exist near me. I was in the dark.
So I started reading labels in my cupboards. And I started throwing out my boxes of processed food. We were broker than broke but The Hubby and I decided what we put in our bodies was going to be as important as the roof over our heads. So I started reading labels in the aisles of my grocery store. Then I stopped shopping the aisles and started shopping the outer perimeters of the store. I bought vegetables (formerly an anomaly in our home), I made fresh meals and saved the ice cream for treats instead of daily dinner bonus. We started thinking about how food was making us feel. Making us think. Making us look and act.
Some people in our lives thought we were nuts. I mean, in all honesty our grocery bill jumped. But at our core we knew, that we knew, that we knew, that we had to invest in our health. I apologized a lot for our food choices. When I would turn down kind people offering candies to The Kiddos. When I would ask that they not eat multiple cupcakes all at one time. When I would choose to give them water instead of high sugar juice, I felt bad. Felt like I was depriving my Kids of the fun things that are supposed to be a part of childhood. I was even told that my choices in this matter would lead them to further food craving and addiction as they grew older.
As mean as I felt I had a new conviction growing in my heart. One that was going to become more grounded, the more I learned.
Even though our shopping changed the panic over health still won over the hint that we could do something better for our family.
At the first sign of a cough, a fever, or a rash I would run to the walk-in or hospital and sit for hours just to get a minute of time. We would fill the prescription and then battle the candida that would inevitably become a problem only weeks later, causing throat and yeast infections.
On one weekday afternoon I was outside chatting with a neighbour who over two years was becoming a dear friend. I was expressing the Exhausted Mother Misery that gushes out with little sleep. She hopped the fence with a book and an offer. IF I wanted to learn a way to take care of my family in a different way, there was a glass of wine waiting at her house.
Later that evening (over a nice bottle of red) she asked me unusual questions about the Princess' temperament with her current set of ear infections. What was her mood? Was she thirsty? Was she fevering, and was it a dry, radiating heat or sweaty? The questions went on and on. She was a homeopath. And she handed me a small brown envelope with three tiny pellets. It was CalCarb. I gave them to The Princess that night. Her fever broke, her ears stopped hurting and I went back to the library and once again left with an armful of plastic covered books.
All of this was so far out of my awareness it was incredible. I had never heard of homeopathy, GMO's and was about to learn about carcinogens and chemicals in the daily products I used.
I have stopped apologizing for the decisions we make regarding food and health. I make sure to bring along snacks to every function. I bring meals to parties and make desserts for birthday parties. I serve awesome food at dinner parties and always have chips and dip in mass supply. If people ask why we do what we do, I happily share. And for those who roll their eyes, I walk away. I no longer feel mean. I feel proud. Because I am building the most amazing foundation for my family. I am courageous.
Five years later and my cupboards would be unrecognizable to my former self (and somewhat sadly, vanilla frosted donuts are not in my meal plan). My first reaction when illness flares is opposite to before. Our family eats entirely differently and in doing so functions entirely differently.
And this is just the start of sharing.
If you're curious, watch two movies: FOOD INC. & FORKS OVER KNIVES.
I also highly recommend you go to your library, look up GMO's and HOMEOPATHY and leave with arm loads of plastic covered enlightenment.